Bashful Clown

“How to suck at everything” - A tutorial by Yumikarp

Start by being positive! Share it to the whole world! EXPLODE with your positivity! Dang what an optimistic motherfucker!
Start getting creative! Come up with awesome ideas, stories or inventions! Share all your ideas with your friends and make them just as excited!
Once you’ve collected enough encouragement that you feel ‘Man, I could spend the rest of my life on this!!’, start doing just that! Grab that pen and drabble/sketch/note down your awesome idea!
Tease everyone with what you’ve got so far. Gotta keep the adrenaline running!!
It’s time. You’re finally ready. Sit your ass down and start your amazing project, man! GO GO GO!!
Soon enough you’ll notice that nothing is turning out the way you wanted it to. You realise that you’re horrible at the exact one thing you assumed you were gonna be amazing, after all with all these ideas you should be able to make them come true as well, right?
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong.
Flip that fucking table, it has annoyed you for so damn long, like 5 minutes. Time to flip shit that irritates you because everything just turns out WRONG.
Punch a wall.
Cry.
Let’s keep on crying.
Scream.
Run to your next-door neighbour and flip their motherfucking table!
Throw a tantrum.
Lay down on your neighbour’s floor and cry for several hours.
After hours of sobbing and groaning and being a real pain in the ass the neighbours will have gotten damn tired of your shit and called the cops. Struggle and let them either drag or lift you out from there; feel free to request being carried in princess-style.
Get thrown into some cell for the night to ‘calm yourself down’. Of course we already know that won’t happen.
If you feel like the most miserable being in the whole world, then congrats! You finally suck, you little piece of shit.
After having spent the whole night in the cell, there’s not much else to do than ponder about things. Oh hey, I think you just got a great next idea! Let’s text all of our friends of this new thing you just came up with and can’t wait to get working on!!